


Still our hands match

by gaynebula



Series: Writing prompts [4]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Trans Character, Davis is stressed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Matteo is worried, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaynebula/pseuds/gaynebula
Summary: Matteo notices how the pressure is wearing down on David, how much he's hurting, and tries to make it better. Instead, they end up fighting.For the prompt: David and Matteo have a fight and Davids run away (as he does) and Matteo is so hurt by that, thought they are able to work through that now and David regrets it in the same moment, but he just needed to get away. Both are not reaching out at first, both can't sleep and all without the other and then David apologizes. And they talk through it? Like communication and deep deep love?
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Series: Writing prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992580
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	1. Matteo

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter will end on a sad note, but I promise the second chapter (which will be up later this week) will be brighter. Thank you as always for sending me prompts, I really like writing them. You can come talk to me on tumblr @thisverygayuniverse 🥰
> 
> Title is from the song Still by Daughter.

“David?”

It’s quiet in the room, and Matteo almost winces at the sound of his own voice disturbing the silence. He can’t remember how long they’ve gone without saying anything, both losing themselves to whatever is on their screens - Matteo to the game on his phone, David to the laptop propped up on Matteo’s desk - but now, he really wants David’s attention back on him.

“Mm?” David hums, but it’s clear he’s still focusing solely on editing the video he’s working on. 

Usually, Matteo likes to think it doesn’t really bother him that David is a super talented film student that puts his passion before everything else, no matter how much work it takes, just to make something brilliant and unique. Now, though, he can see from across the room how David rubs his shoulder a little to ease the tension there, seemingly not even noticing he’s doing it, and his neck looks a little strained. It hurts just to look at him.

“Can’t you just… do the rest tomorrow? I’m tired.” 

He adds his whiny voice at the end, the one that makes David roll his eyes at him but still usually gets him what he wants, even though it never works on anyone else.

“I really have to fix this,” David mumbles.

His voice sounds stressed, and Matteo kind of wants to pry his hands away from the keyboard and force him to just breathe for a second, maybe cuddle until it feels better.

The fact that David doesn’t even care about finishing his sentence, when he loves teasing Matteo for that same thing, sends warning signals through Matteo’s mind, so loud and persistent that he’s almost surprised that David can’t hear them, too.

“Daviiid-”

“Fuck” David breathes out, and Matteo isn’t sure if it’s because of him or because of whatever it is that won't work on the screen, but it still makes him shut up.

There is a different kind of silence now, one that Matteo knows so well but has never known with _David_. It makes his eyes sting and he hates how loud his breathing sounds.

It only gets worse by David seeming to notice it too, and finally turns around to look at him.

“I just need to get this done, okay?”

Matteo thinks he should say yes, and just let David work away on his project and not push, but as David holds his gaze, Matteo senses just how worn out he is, and he’d rather David was annoyed with him than seeing him getting hurt by his own stubborn recklessness.

“Can you maybe take off your binder, though?” Matteo tries, not looking at him anymore but down at his own hands fidgeting with a loose thread on the blanket thrown over the bed.

“Look, Matteo,” David sighs, but at least he turns around properly again, giving Matteo his most serious look.

“I’m sorry I’m boring, but you know I have to finish this, right? I’m so fucking stressed and it needs to get done, can you just let me do this?”

Matteo’s pretty sure his body is being crushed under the heavy silence that follows. It stretches out before him, wrapping around his body until he’s forgotten he should break it, and when David finally does, he’s not sure if it’s been minutes or several hours.

“Okay, I’m done.”

He registers the sound of David’s hand closing the laptop with a click, and the ruffle of his clothes as he gets closer to the bed, but he still can’t make himself look up at him, not even when the bed under him sinks down a little under the weight of David’s body next to him.

“Matteo?” David tries, and he knows he sounds worried, but he can’t help it - his body has already shut down, and he thinks he might cry if David makes him look at him.

“I don’t like when you’re stressed” Matteo mumbles, so quietly that David shouldn’t hear it.

Even when David responds, he’s not sure if he did.

“I just have to get a good grade on this, and there’s so much to do all the time-” David starts, talking faster with every word, and for a second Matteo feels like he’s confiding in him.

“I know” Matteo breathes out, tugging his body closer to itself, collecting his limbs like missing pieces he needs to press back together.

After another long sigh, David closes his eyes, and his words are slower, steadier this time.

“I’m already behind from being sick one time in the beginning of the term, so I have to do this, okay? It’s not like I think it’s fun to work all the time, either, but I’m not going to fuck it up.”

When Matteo glances over at him, there’s sadness stroking the lines of his face, and Matteo can’t help but move a little closer. They’re still not touching, though. 

“Maybe you can tell your professor you need more time?” he suggests, carefully gauging David’s reaction.

For a moment, David just stares at him. Then, when the words dawn on him, he huffs out in frustration, moving a hand through his own hair before getting up from the bed.

“You don’t get it, I can’t just go to bed because you’re bored.”

There's a ringing, now, so intense and amplified that he wants to dunk his head under water to drown it out. He can sense, still, that David is looking at him, and he feels like he's supposed to say something, but his words are all stuck inside his chest, blocking his throat in a way that makes it harder to breathe.

“Just… I don’t need more time than anyone else. I’m almost finished, anyway, and I’m not gonna risk-”

Matteo can hear his voice continue talking, but the words get lost somewhere, and all he can pick up is a static white noise that’s getting louder the longer it goes on.

For some reason, he thinks about his mom.

“I do get it.”

This time, even though his voice is still quiet, he knows David’s heard him. 

"I need to go" David hurries out, and Matteo just studies his clenched hands and the way he closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking back at him. 

Then, before Matteo has time to react, he leaves.


	2. David

At first when he leaves Matteo's flat, all David can focus on is to get out. For every second he stayed there, it had felt like a voice gnawed on his thoughts and spat them out, right at Matteo, and he knew that staying there would just make it worse. So, obviously, he runs.

The guilt catches up with him before he’s even reached his and Laura’s place, and the weight of it lays heavy on him as he takes the stairs two steps at a time. It’s then, when he’s just gotten through the door, hearing Laura and instinctively tries to come up with an excuse for why he’s not sleeping at Matteo’s, that he actually takes in what damage he’s just done.

“Wait a second” Laura calls out from the kitchen, even though he hasn’t said anything yet, before she appears in the doorway as he’s kicking off his shoes.

“Hi, everything okay? I didn’t expect you.”

Her smile for him is warm, as it always is, but it’s clear she knows something is up.

“It’s whatever” David mumbles, because he _knows_ he is the villain in this story, and he isn’t ready to tell her yet.

She still opens her arms for a hug, and he goes willingly; he doesn’t think he deserves it, the safety it brings him, but he feels too bare to let it up.

“Hungry?” Laura tries when they let go, and he just nods before trailing after her.

He’s a bit surprised that he didn’t notice the scent earlier, but as soon as he enters the kitchen all he can sense is the mixture of spices and herbs rising from the stew set aside at the counter. They sit quietly for a while, but Laura’s eyes are heavy on him as he takes another mouthful, regarding him and taking a sip of her drink.

“We had a fight.”

When he looks at her again, she nods like she gets it.

“So he told you to leave?”

“No,” David sighs, “I just left anyway.”

“Mm.” She’s not surprised.

He moves around the fork a little just to have something to do, looking down at the bits of vegetables left at the bottom of the ceramic bowl.

“Want to tell me what happened?”

“I was studying at his place, and he started talking about how I should ask my teacher for more time, like I can just postpone everything, and I kind of… snapped at him.”

It sounds so extremely insignificant now, in retrospect, that he’s almost ashamed to even look up to see Laura’s reaction. Thankfully, she doesn’t look like she’s about to call him out.

“And you’re stressed?” she tries instead.

“Yeah” David huffs out, slowly starting to tug at the skin of the base of his fingernails.

“You know,” Laura begins again, cupping her hand over his, “you don’t have to be better than everyone else. It’s okay to take breaks.”

A part of him, the same one that took over at Matteo’s place, wants to argue that she doesn’t get it either and tell her how much harder he has to work just to have a place at uni at all. He wants to lash out, remind her of how he has never been _given_ things but has had to work himself down to get the things he wants. Another part of him, though, tells him she already knows this; when he fought just to survive long enough to finish his abi, she was the one standing beside him, arguing with teachers and calling out their parents for him.

So, instead, he just nods, with his gaze firmly fixed on their hands.

“Matteo doesn’t deserve this shit” he mutters, when they’ve been silent for a while and Laura has gotten up to make tea.

“Neither do you” Laura sighs, just audible over the sound of cups clinking together when she reaches for them on the higher shelf.

Before he can say anything else, she firmly puts down a cup in front of him.

“Listen. Just go to him, apologise for being rude and then explain how you feel. Matteo will get it.”

The thing is, David knows he will, and he doesn’t think he deserves it. He can’t just be an asshole to the sweetest boy in the world and then be forgiven, just like that.

“I don’t think he wants to see me” he mutters instead.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what you said,” Laura reasons, “but I think it’ll be fine.”

They both go back to their cups of tea and he just nods like he accepts that it will, even though he still feels like fighting, and kind of wants to tell her how he’s ruined everything. When they’re both done, and David’s body aches from exhaustion, Laura gets up and hovers over him on the chair, wrapping one arm around his shoulders.

“I promise you’re okay, just talk to him tomorrow. And please sleep.”

“Thanks” David mumbles, and tries to accept the warmth radiating from her.

When he’s finally back in his own room and ready for bed, everything makes him think of Matteo, from the aching of his ribs to the scent of him still lingering on his sweater - but most of all, the empty space next to him under the covers. There are no cold feet gently kicking him just to rile him up or trying to steal some of his body heat, no squishy nose softly pressed into the side of his neck.

He almost curses at himself when it’s been hours and he’s still awake, too aware that he did this willingly since Matteo - sweet, wonderful Matteo - would never kick him out, not even after his worst fuck-ups.

After three hours of heavy sleep, David wakes up around 9 the next morning, knowing he needs to go straight back to Matteo and make things right. It’s not even about morals at this point, or his shitty conscience - there is just an aching in his bones, pulsating through his limbs with an urgency that tells him he has to see him right away.

He doesn’t bother getting breakfast or telling Laura. Instead, he quickly gets dressed, grabs his beanie and puts it on low enough to cover his ears before he heads out.

Linn is at the door when he gets to the flat share, looking at him in a way that makes him think she knows exactly why he’s here. She also has a look to her that makes it impossible to tell if she’s just woken up or just never went to bed.

“Is he awake?” David whispers, and Linn just looks at him for a moment.

Then, when he’s about to just go and check for himself, she nods slowly.

“I think so.”

The door to Matteo’s room is closed, but there’s light coming from under the door, so he guesses it’s okay to knock. The movement feels so out of place, and it hurts to remember he might not actually be welcomed in.

It takes a while, but then, he can hear the sounds of Matteo ruffling around in his room, followed by his footsteps getting closer, and David holds his breath as the door opens.

Matteo blinks at him, with his pretty eyes barely staying open even when they meet David’s, and David suspects Matteo hasn’t really slept either.

“Hi” Matteo mumbles, and David hates himself for a second for not even being the one to initiate this.

“I’m sorry,” he rushes out, with so many more words planned for later, but he feels like he needs to start with these.

Matteo doesn’t say anything, and David thinks about the times Matteo has forgiven people straight away out of habit, just because he didn’t get he had a choice not to. They had talked about it, and David had tried to convince him he deserved to be treated right, and that he was allowed to be hurt and hold grudges and not be the bigger person every single time.

In a strange way, it feels good that Matteo’s taken it to heart.

“Can we talk about it?” David tries, and even though Matteo shrugs, he opens the door wider for David to follow him back inside.

Matteo sits down on the bed, looking like he’d rather lie down on it if it weren’t for things being off between them. Even though he’s not sure he should, David sits down next to him, careful not to sit too close.

“I’m really sorry I said those things to you. I know you just wanted me to rest, and I just… lashed out on you, and that’s so fucking shitty.”

He takes a deep breath before looking up at Matteo, and when he does, he notices how Matteo’s fidgeting with the end of his sleeves, staring at them with intent.

“You could’ve stayed” he mumbles under his breath.

The aching in his body is back, but now, it’s sitting heavy on top of his chest, pressing down as he struggles to breathe again.

“Yeah, you’re right” he agrees.

Matteo looks up at that, and David gets lost in his eyes for a second.

“I don’t even care that much about the other stuff,” Matteo starts, and David is surprised when he doesn’t look away, “it’s just so fucking shitty when you just _ leave. _ ”

“I know,” he agrees again, because he does, because they’ve been over this before, and he’s promised to make an effort to communicate instead of taking off, and still, they’re here, again, having the very same conversation.

“I just-” Matteo breathes out, and he sounds so tired, defeated, that David almost leaps forward to hug him before he remembers to stay put.

“I just want you to be safe.”

He’s pretty sure there are beginnings of tears in his eyes, now, but he still forces himself not to look away.

“I know, Matteo, I know” he breathes out, and suddenly he’s taking Matteo’s hand in his, holding it tightly and relaxing a little at the touch.

“I love you so much, and you’re the best person I know.”

He just catches how Matteo ducks his head at that, before he can feel Matteo’s hand gently pressing his. It feels so good that he wants to cry.

“I love you too” Matteo whispers, slowly moving his fingers over the back of David’s hand, like he’s soothing both of them at once.

“I think...” David begins, even though he really just wants to stay quiet, not ready to break the fragile peace between them, “when you talked about needing breaks, and not finishing on time, I just… lost it. Because I just want to prove that I’m as good as them, I don’t-”

“David” Matteo interrupts, and it startles him enough to lose his train of thought.

“It doesn’t… it doesn’t matter, if you take a break and hand it in a few days late or have to do it over or whatever. You’re still the best. None of them can fucking take you.”

David can’t help but snort at the last words, not when Matteo smiles at him like that, like he knows exactly what he’s doing and is proud of it.

“Okay” David nods.

“I’m still sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Yeah” Matteo mumbles, and David suspects he will hold onto this for a while, even after they’ve properly made up again, and he realises that it just has to be okay, that it’s allowed to take time.

“Can we sleep? I’m so fucking tired” Matteo says as he drags his hands over his face, stretching out the skin in a way that’s so endearing that David catches himself smiling fondly at him.

“Yeah, if you’ll have me.”

At that, Matteo rolls his eyes at him, followed by an elbow to his side. 

“If you promise you’ll stay.”

Despite his smile, David can sense the worry in his eyes.

“I promise,” he reassures, then, before Matteo can say anything, he leans in.

Matteo almost seems surprised, but David doesn’t have any time to hesitate before Matteo lets out a small sigh against his lips, and then, they’re both leaning in, deepening the kiss until David’s hands are cupping Matteo’s face, with Matteo’s hands safely placed at the nape of his neck.

“I love you so much” David sighs, not really sure he’s saying it until Matteo moves back a little to look at him, his expression soft and wonderous.

“Let’s sleep” he mumbles, tugging at David’s arm until they’re both laying down, and David finds himself curling up against Matteo’s chest, hiding his face in the fabric of his shirt, breathing in his scent again.

He’s not sure when they fall asleep, but when he wakes up, Matteo’s arms are tucked tightly around his body, holding him close even in his sleep, and the sound of Matteo lightly snoring makes him feel protected in a way he’s never felt, not even with him. Maybe, he thinks, it’s all he needs to stay put, as long as Matteo is there to hold him close.


End file.
